How to Be a Gentleman

Washington's template to living with purpose and refinement...

Who, among all the figures in history, is the ideal example of a gentleman?

Given the many great men who have graced the world stage, there are several men who come to mind. However, it’s difficult to overlook America’s first president: George Washington. Few others in American history better exemplify the true meaning of being a gentleman. By all accounts, he was well-mannered, courteous, brave, and self-sacrificing.

Let’s explore the key attributes which make George Washington the quintessential gentleman. While we may never fully reach his level of excellence, we can certainly strive to follow the high standard he set.

Washington’s life reminds us that true greatness begins with character, and that the habits of a gentleman are as essential today as they were in the 18th century…

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A Young Man of Purpose and Refinement

Even as a young man, George Washington understood the importance of discipline, self-improvement, and manners. At the age of just 16, Washington hand-copied a set of 110 principles entitled The Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation.

These rules, adapted from French Jesuit teachings, outlined appropriate conduct in a wide variety of social situations. They reflected a commitment to self-control and respect for others.

But Washington didn't merely copy these rules out of curiosity, he strove to live by them. In fact, they became a foundational part of his identity. Throughout his life, Washington was known for his impeccable manners and courtesy toward others, regardless of their social standing. Whether dealing with foreign dignitaries, political rivals, or the everyday soldier in his camp, he treated everyone with dignity and respect.

In addition to his commitment to civility, Washington was a remarkably well-rounded young man. Among other things, he became an accomplished horseman and an adept dancer. These qualities not only enhanced his personal charisma but also his ability to move confidently through different social settings.

To Washington, being a gentleman was more than just simply following a code of honor; it meant striving for excellence in all areas of his life.

Courage Under Fire

Washington’s courage was legendary, even before the American Revolution made him a national hero.

As a young aide de camp to British General Edward Braddock during the French and Indian War, he repeatedly displayed uncommon bravery. At the Battle of the Monongahela in July 1755, Washington played a crucial role and rode into heavy fire to rally retreating troops. Such was the intensity of the fight, Washington had two horses shot out from under him and multiple bullet holes torn through his coat. Eyewitnesses were amazed at his composure and fearlessness, which became central to his reputation.

This courage was not merely physical but moral as well. Leading the Continental Army against the world’s most formidable military, Washington endured crushing defeats and political intrigue. However, he remained committed to the cause of liberty, setting a standard for personal perseverance under incredible pressure. At Valley Forge, where troops suffered from starvation, disease, and bitter cold, Washington's leadership was marked by compassion and shared suffering with his men. His leadership became the glue that held the Army together.

For Washington, courage was never about rash action or grandstanding. It was a quiet, steady force fueled by duty and responsibility. In this, too, he provides a model for modern gentlemen. We must stand firm when times are hard, not out of arrogance, but from a deep sense of purpose and willingness to do the right thing.

A Man of Grace, Temperance, and True Respect

One of Washington’s most remarkable traits was his ability to maintain composure under the most intense pressure. He showed deep respect for others, even when provoked or frustrated. This would be a rarity among powerful leaders of any era, but especially in today’s world. Washington understood that a gentleman does not lose his temper easily, nor does he stoop to pettiness with his rivals.